Occurrence at the Zone 6 Dining Facility, in which No Apples Are Eaten


I’m sure this government apple is totally safe to eat.

Scene: Christmas Eve, Camp Arifjan, Kuwait. Zone 6 Dining Facility at Lunchtime

Dramatis Personae: 

Major Steve Howell (in civilian clothes, having the day off)

The Mess Sergeant

*     *     *

“Sergeant, there are some apples back there covered with–”

“White film.”

“–a distinctly un-apple-like substance.”

“Yeah, the Vet inspectors have checked it and say it’s safe.”

“What is that stuff?”

“It’s a white film.”

“A white film.”

“That’s right.”

“You realize nobody’s going to touch that stuff right?”

“Yeah, but we have to serve it.”

“OK. Just thought I’d…mention it.”

The inspector says it’s safe to eat.”

“Thanks, Sergeant.”